How To Raise A Brat!

By Pastor Art Kohl

So many today have been successful at raising brats. Here's some of the finest advice you'll ever receive on how to raise a brat:

1. WHEN A BABY, DON'T LET HIM CRY IN BED. Do not allow YOUR baby to suffer any hardships, especially in infancy. Run to her aid as soon as her cries. She'll soon know how to control you, rather than you controlling them. This way, they'll expect to be pampered all of their lives.

2. LET THEM SAY "NO". It's so cute. Let that be their favorite word. Sure, it's rebellion verbalized, but they should be allowed to have a mind of their own.

3. DO NOT GIVE ANY DUTIES, RESPONSIBILITIES. Do it all for them. Then they'll think this world owes them a living. They'll quickly join the crowd of grown up babies shouting, "I've got my rights," rather than those who are men and women enough to fulfill their responsibilities.

4. NEVER SPANK THEM. Don't ever discipline your child. Wait till they're in trouble, and let the penal system (prisons and jails) discipline them. Listen to Dr. Spock (who never raised a child in his life) and the other child psychologists, not the old timers who raised 5 or 10 children successfully!

5. DEFEND THEM IN SCHOOL. Always take the child's side. Teachers and principals have got it "in" for the little angel. Understand that your child can do no wrong.

6. CRITICIZE OTHERS. You can't trust them. Tear down authority in front of them. Make sure they hear you. They'll live in insecurity not knowing who to trust. They will be totally prepared for a life of rebellion.

7. DON'T EVER SAY "I LOVE YOU". They can figure that out! After all, you've given them everything they've ever wanted. What more can a parent do (of course, don't give them yourself!)

8. GIVE THEM EVERYTHING THEY WANT. Buy something for them every time you go into a store. Never say "no" to them. When properly trained this way, they will be used to having every appetite of theirs fulfilled immediately, they will have been trained by you to seek immediate fulfillment. Teen pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases shouldn't really surprise the parent then.

9. NEVER TEACH THEM MORALS. Teach them math, science, history, art, music, reading, physical education, sex education, etc. but don't teach them morals. Let them decide for themselves. Same goes for manners they will find out where they fit in society.

10. ALWAYS TRUST YOUR CHILD. She's a little angel. She wouldn't dare do anything behind your back

11. SCREAM AT YOUR CHILDREN. This is the only type of communication necessary to raise a brat. Time spent answering their questions and instructing them is wasted time. The only training really required of parents is potty-training. After that, it is the obligation of day cares preschools and schools

12. LET YOUR CHILD COME AND GO AS THEY WILL. Don't set any boundaries. This will lead to a life of insecurity. Brats don't need guidelines.

13. MAKE SURE THEY ARE POPULAR. They must be in with the crowd, their peers! Don't let them be an individual. Be sure to give into demands of peer’s pressures.

14. LET THEM WATCH TV CONSTANTLY, Text, chatting, twittering and Facebooking. Keep them away from reality. Let them live in fantasy all of their lives. Brats need entertainment! A life of comfort and ease produces high-class brats.

CONCLUSION Brats are produced, not born. It takes effort to obey the life principles.

Amen.

MG